Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
how does that bad decision feel?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
