We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize