Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize