Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
