He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize