Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
