Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
my poor anus
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize