Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Never underestimate the power of titties
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
