This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
