Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
