Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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