I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
