I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
