at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
