Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
