someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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