you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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