There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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