There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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