So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
