Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
