I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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