Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
