I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
