your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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