She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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