You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He shit in the fireplace
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
