ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
