yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
