I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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