you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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