small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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