Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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