I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
