You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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