Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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