He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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