My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
