dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize