Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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