Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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