What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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