I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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