Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
