Just fell off a train. Bad.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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