He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
