I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
