my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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