I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
