Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
