Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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