I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
