why didn't you poke me back
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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