I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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