Kiss
Puke
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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