How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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