Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
