i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he thought i was a dude.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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