What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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