Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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