you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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