I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
